Since you’ve been gone

Six months ago today, my mama left us for the beauty of heaven. I honestly don’t know if I’m processing her death in the correct way, whatever that’s supposed to look like. I reflect back on the last six months in which I have intentionally chosen to spend a lot of time bringing peace and […]

An ocean of emotion

I have been emotionally preparing myself for this week and weekend. Understanding the deep and very painful emotional bruise I now carry, I have been carefully navigating through the past several days. But not in a way anyone would expect. I’ve actually been looking for opportunities to “run into things” that push on that tender […]

Balance in the tension

I often struggle with the tension. I can have a day where something really positive takes place (i.e. I get to have coffee with a friend) and then something negative comes my way (i.e. something stressful at work). My time, effort and energy are easily diverted to the “crisis” in front of me rather than […]

Pursuable

Last week I wrote about the list of people God has put in our lives to pursue. While I was writing, I thought about what it looks like to be on the other side…in the shoes of the one who is being pursued. This week I was working through something with my dad and I […]

No matter what

This week when I couldn’t get a hold of my dad, I reached out to my brothers to see if they had heard from him that day and they hadn’t. My dad calls each of us about every day and he’s done that for years and years, so I had a friend of his go […]

Sharing the couch

My mom was so excited when I would tell her about my counseling sessions. Often I would call her on my way back (it was about a 40 minute drive) to give her the highlights. She celebrated with me and often identified with my brokenness. The truth is, my mom had hurts and baggage in […]

In the waiting

I’ve been thinking a lot about advice I’ve heard over the years: Make the leap! Choose adventure! Climb every mountain! Take a risk! Go out on a limb! And then I thought of my mom’s mantra: Stand, and stand firm. She didn’t run from trials or back down from challenges. She knew they would make […]

Making peace with darkness

If my journey to strong, emotional health has taught me anything, it’s this: You must feel in order to heal. In my opinion, there is no way around this.  Feelings are the body’s emotional response to sensations, thoughts and events. It’s how we process the ups and downs of life (and everything in between). If […]

Replacing regret

I’m going to be vulnerable here and tell you that this week, I allowed myself to process regrets I had regarding my mom. Such a painful exercise but one that I wanted to do because they deserve space to be acknowledged, processed and then put in their place. Over the last year, I had been […]

Reflection of growth

I have such a heart to help people move through their pain. It was just a few years ago that I was struggling with anxiety, panic attacks, insecurity and low self-worth. I honestly didn’t struggle with these things until I was an adult and thankfully, God brought a beautiful gift into my life (my counselor, […]